Statements actually made by students in my classes...
"It's not right for farm animals to fly. If pigs could fly, it would be a pain in the butt to get some bacon." TG '92
"He was killed by a boulder that fell on his head purposely." MD '91
"The possibilities of Stephen Dedalus becoming a priest are very possible." JH '92
"She was born on Jan. 24, 1972. Her parents had died twenty-two years earlier." JB
"He died yesterday of a mysterious death." EP
"Not everyone is a duck." KL
"The reason I'm focusing in on Paul so much is that he's the only that the book focuses in on other things other than the ruthlessness towards killing people is." RH '92
"This can't be right. How could I possibly get an A-? I only had a B- two weeks ago." DB (an unusual complain heard in class)
"Waiting for Godot is like two naked guys sitting in the air." JR
"Little girls don't usually go around killing their best friends." TT '92
Class discussion: Teacher: We don't sacrifice virgins anymore.
MO: We can't find any.
"Ivan and his wife tried to live like kings, but they were only pheasants." CJ
"(Harry is) talking to us in italics." MH '89
"In Grover's Corners, they had the sunset, the mountains, and the flowers. In Lake Forest, we have Nintendo." RR '92
"Each party relates to each other because something is shown in each." CS
"Ball beans" (an odd euphemism for peas) DB
"The last play I went to was downtown. I sat in front of a hooker and Guido the killer pimp." DB
"The two men left, never to see each other again unless they need to talk maybe with each other or someone else." SG
"Unless you happen to notice it, you'll probably miss it." K
"Who is the Tempest?" (a query after two days of discussing a certain Shakespearean play) LM '90
"It occurred to her that she had nothing to live for any more so killing them wouldn't hurt her in any way any more because she had nothing to live for any more." LW
"Piggy lacked power, which was a result of his death." SW '91
"The word 'alumni' sounds like a vegetable. I picture carrots and broccoli." EH
"David grinned as a smile ran across his face." SG
"Is there anyone here today who wasn't here tomorrow?" K
"The true beast (in AQWF) is played by the roll of evil." JS '92
"In Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights, there are overwhelming examples of bestiality." HF '92
"In the last line, Conrad wrote a line at the end." AG '89
"Venus was so adored that people named things after her. For example, the Venus Pen and Pencil Company." JI
"In my research I discovered that Venus wore a girdle. Which leads to the interesting question: 'Was Venus fat?'" JI
"If you put in the effort to go to Harvard, you'll get a better trout." HD
"J. Alfred Prufrock and Fred Clegg are similar, but only to different
extents of their similarity are they similar." AK '92
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