There are a million ways to write a Process Letter. I would not presume to believe that the
samples below are the only models I could give you, but the fact is that these things
take a long time to type in, so they are the only ones you’re going to
get. J
Here are the things I think they both do very, very well:
·
The tone
sounds personal, making the letter an extension of the “voice” of the portfolio
·
They clearly
indicate where the piece originated
·
They include
examples of the text as illustrations of points
·
They explore
some of the significant revisions and how they came about
·
They include
a judgment about the piece’s quality and an honest assessment of the piece
itself
These are rather long Process Letters, but they are good
ones. Of course, you don’t need to have
letters this long. What you do need to
have is letters this clear and this carefully crafted.
“Windows”
Process Letter
Dear Ms. Kopriva,
I came so close to giving up on this piece. Perhaps I had so much trouble because I tried to force it. This is my “frozen moment” vignette, the first piece we had to write in this class. We were to describe just one second, one split second, from our summer. It was an exercise to show where we all were individually in our writing. Looking back on what I went through with this piece and reading the final outcome, perhaps I should have let this be the first assignment of E3H and only that: something I wouldn’t even remember. But I didn’t, and this is what I have to show for my efforts.
I don’t hate this piece. I know I make it sound like I underwent an emotional breakdown due to the work I put into it, but that’s not true. Maybe if I had put forth a little more effort with this piece it would have been different. But, as I said, this is what I have to offer.
My biggest problem with this piece is the focus. Since it is just a moment in time it should simply be a description of the surroundings at that fleeting second. I tend to want to focus on the emotional, which causes the piece to lose its power of being the quick second captured in the mind of the author. What I wanted, or attempted, to do was to complement the physical with the emotional. I knew I had to focus on the physical, but I also wanted to show how the emotional complemented and reflected the physical. I got carried away, though. I put too much emotion in, but I was apprehensive to do it in the first place for that exact reason. The end result was that all the parts where I did speak of the emotional were rather long-winded, and yet the piece felt rushed to get to the ending. Not a good start.
After editing and revision it improved. What I did find that was well received in conferences was a little bit of my very own voice in the piece. The middle paragraph of my piece had a little underlying sarcasm that created a style that made it something that was “just mine”:
Such a scene in a movie would serve as a significant symbol that only the “elite” moviegoer could catch. Only the scholarly critic from the New York Times would recognize the subtle meaning, smugly informing the huddled masses that the rain reflection across the seat symbolizes the driver’s own cleansing as they start anew. As the camera closes in, it becomes dark and the credits begin to roll. Yes, I know: cue the violins.
One of my goals was to bring the “voice” to the rest of the piece. Instead of bringing it to the rest of the piece, though, I tried to make the piece focus around it. This sarcasm also reflects the kind of mood I was in when this single moment stuck in my mind. I was down and feeling critical of everything. This center paragraph of my piece was what convinced me to stick with it.
One part that didn’t work in the end was the theme of the “eye” of the storm. (“Eyes” was the original title of the piece.) I tried to compare what I was feeling emotionally with an “eye” of a storm (the calm part of the storm right in the middle before the very worst part). I was inconsistent, though. I dind’t bring it through my piece enough because it was forced. I would have to push it to make this theme work. Also, as a peer mentioned in a conference, storms that occur around here don’t have eyes. It wasn’t a great idea and, after removing it, the piece began to come together.
This piece is definitely my best example of “process.” After the process of many edits and ideas, the piece has changed quite a bit from its original class assignment. It isn’t my favorite piece, but I’m glad I began the year with it because I learned quite a few things in the writing and rewriting, and I hope I won’t make the same mistakes again.
Sincerely,
Of Mountains and Majesty
Process Letter
Dear Ms. Kopriva,
This was the first thing that I wrote this year, and upon creating it I was surprised that the first draft turned out well. What I had wanted to do in this piece was, as assigned, to capture a scene from my summer and describe it as thoroughly as I could. This was the best scene that I could think of, as it was the most inspiring scene that I had seen all summer. I instantly knew that this was what I wanted to write about.
I did not have a lot of problems with this piece. I felt that the initial form of it was about 70% good. Though this seems like an arbitrary number, this estimate includes mainly the descriptions of my surroundings, which I feel I described well in the first draft.
“The horizon runs for miles from this epicenter of awe-inspiring greatness in lesser mountainous landscapes that slowly fade into the sun. At the base of these mountains lies a glacial lake. The gentle valley wind ripples the surface and small diamonds of light blind my eyes.” (draft 1)
The initial descriptions were in themselves very strong, at least in idea. However, there was much work to be done, even in this small segment. One thing that I had to do was get rid of the superlatives, and this was a thing that I struggled with a lot in this piece. The simple term “awe-inspiring” does not show the reader what to feel, but tells him how to feel it. Through my conferences, that was the thing that I heard most often, “show don’t tell” my piece was full of such instances, for example:
“…look of beauty and power.” (draft 1)
“…grandeur of the world’s most powerful kings” (draft 2)
“…humbling and beautiful sight” (draft 2)
In many of these instances, I simply cut out the superlative phrase and tried to put in a more accurate and powerful description. This was easy within the body of the paragraph, however I kept using superlatives at the end. I wanted to create a sort of summary at the end, or show how this affected me at a personal level. Initially I focused on metaphor of the mountains being as kings. However, this was already in the title, and I felt that repeating the metaphor would be blatant. It was also very difficult to omit such words as “grand” and “majestic” which tell rather than show. This was by far the most difficult experience that I had on the piece, however, I found a way to express what I wanted to say without using superlatives. I focused on describing their might in comparison to myself and what their looming size means to me. I think that it turned out very well.
“I am a speck of sand amongst these boulders as I sit. A tiny ant surveying the life of mighty beings above. They have been here for millions of years and for millions to come. To them I am nothing, but to me they fill all the Earth and the voids of time.” (draft 7).
I am very satisfied with the way that this ended up and I feel that I have overcome a personal obstacle in my writing. I have for a long time tried to focus on how to make my descriptions more accurate, and I realized that that was by telling the reader what he sees, not how he feels. I can’t superimpose my emotions onto the reader; he has to pick them up himself through my help.
Another thing that I worked on in this piece was my use of metaphors. Initially, they were very scarce and in my perception blunt and hackneyed. I thus tried to incorporate some better sounding ones into my later drafts.
“A run of this giant’s mighty snowy razor and they would be vanquished.”
(Draft 7)
“Like a storm in a snow globe…” (Draft 7)
“…mountainous visual anesthesia before me soothes my discomfort.” (Draft 7)
Finally I worked on adding a personal touch to this poem. I realized that I not only had to show what I was looking at, but how it affected me personally. I added in a paragraph that described my perception and feelings on my surroundings. This was the third paragraph in my final draft, and I felt that I had effectively used metaphors and descriptions to portray what I felt in that situation.
In closing, I was very happy with this piece. Though I did not make drastic changes to the bulk of what I originally wrote, I had added a lot and had a hard time getting all the subtleties down, such as showing and not telling. However, I feel that this piece was very strong and the lessons that I learned while writing it carried over into all my other works.
Sincerely,